We tend to think of coming out as a term used in lgbtq+ circles, but in the Satanic world it’s a concept we are also familiar with. Being outed is an invasion of privacy and a violation of one’s free will to choose when and if they wish to disclose their Satanic affiliation. It creates a plethora of problems for the person being outed; legal, emotional, physical, mental and spiritual. The act of outing someone has been used by weak people as a weapon of destruction, wielded unmercifully when their egos have been bruised. They strike at what they believe to be the jugular of the Satanist; their very identity.
There are many reasons a Satanist stays in the closet. We live in world where spiritual and religious affiliations can carry legal and social repercussions. In some countries, simply being associated with Satanism can cost you your head. Disclosing a parent’s Satanic affiliation during divorce or separation has resulted Satanic parents losing custody of their children. It has caused harassment in the workplace and it has cost people their livelihood. Everyone has their own reasoning as to why they wish to keep their identity and affiliation private. Being outed takes your control away from your own life’s narrative without your consent.
Many use pseudonyms. Employing the use of an alias can be a helpful way to camouflage your identity when engaging in in social media or public speaking engagements where you don’t want your true name and identity revealed. Speaking, writing or publishing under an alias is a common remedy to disguise your identity when your work will be under a public microscope, leaving you vulnerable to threats.
Jezebel Pride is a moniker I’ve assumed to keep the crazies at bay. I am a single woman, living alone, but also living publicly as a Satanist. Because I am often called on to speak about the subject of Satanism and the Left Hand Path, and because I live alone and my mortgage is a matter of public record, I often employ my alias as a way to deter the hateful and often threatening attention I sometimes receive as a result of my path and my work. While I have been using my actual name more and more, when I know I will be speaking at events that will draw an overly righteous group of religious zealots, Jezebel does the talking.
Besides using my pseudonym, I take other precautions to protect myself. Before I agree to an interview, I do a little investigating on the interviewer. I make sure the person is who they say they are and I get a feeling of the direction they are going to take the interview in. I agree to a list of questions or topics to be discussed and I don’t deviate from it if I don’t feel comfortable. I take a friend along when I’m doing an in person interview; a great big, intimidating friend. I take threats seriously, and I report them to the police. I also know my neighbors and they keep an eye on my home and car.
I also have been trained to defend myself.
Being outed, against one’s will is to suffer a despicable attempt of someone trying to cut a person down at the ankle and then standing on their body to elevate a weak conscious. It is an act of cowardice by a person with no better means at ending a conflict or a disagreement than to permanently do damage to another’s reputation. If you aren’t ready to step out of the Satanic closet it can be a terrifying shock. You are suddenly vulnerable to the misinterpretations your spiritual path has endured at the hands of people who haven’t taken the time or energy to understand it. Their misconceptions are based in fear rooted in the church’s dogma and from societal influences like the Satanic Panic of the 1980’s. These misconceptions couldn’t be further from the truth.
I was recently on the receiving end of a vain attempt to out me. I was commenting on a post in an addiction recovery support group on Facebook where a woman asked if it was possible to be in recovery without god. I was telling her about secular addiction recovery groups and how to find them in her area when a woman going by the name MissPamela Ann Miller chimed in. MissPamela Ann Miller, by all accounts was a Christian and she was making it known in that ALL CAPS way that the only way to recovery was by the grace of god. That god. Her god. We debated for a short time, as people with differing philosophies do in Facebook comment threads, when suddenly she posts a screen shot of my profile picture and goes on about my Satanic affiliations in the post’s comment thread.
I didn’t deny my spiritual path. I didn’t stand on a soapbox and preach it either. I did check her profile to see just how far she had pushed the bar and low and behold, there was the screen shot of my profile page with a caption that read:
“What yall think about this chick? would you listen to anything she had to say about how to achieve recovery and to leave Jesus out of it I don’t think I would LOL”
At first I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach as I wondered just how far this would pay out. I cringed, wondering how many of her friends would repost my profile. I speculated how many ugly messages would begin to flood my inbox. Would I receive threats? If so, would any hold weight? Did I need to be worried for my safety? These are all legitimate concerns, especially since I am a single woman who lives alone.
What MissPamela Ann Miller didn’t realize is that I was already out of the Satanic Closet. I had spent 2 years as the media liaison for the Minneapolis chapter of The Satanic Temple, and I had done numerous television and press interviews for TST Minneapolis. I was also the United States chapter head for the Church of Rational Satanism out of the United Kingdom. Both TST and CoRS are internationally recognized Satanic organizations. At the time MissPamela Ann Miller decided to try to trash my reputation, I was one of the founding members of Minnesota’s Left Hand Path Community and I’ve become known around Minneapolis as “That Satan Lady”. I had been a speaker at the International Left Hand Path Consortium and Paganicon, and I had been interviewed on the topic of addiction recovery from a Left Hand Path and Satanic perspective on two well-known occult podcasts, with an interview scheduled for a third.
I took a screen shot of her post with the screen shot of my profile picture and posted it on my Facebook page with a caption that read:
“Look at me. I’m somebody now.”
I posted it in a couple Satanic and Left Hand Path groups that I’m established in and then I sat back and watched the shit hit the fan for MissPamela Ann Miller.
Besides being reported, multiple times, for harassment and booted from the original addiction recovery support group that the screen shot was posted in, she got a chance to hear from The Legion that is the Satanic Community I am humbled to be a part of. The deluge of messages that flooded her inbox from Satanists around the world was enough for her to delete her Facebook profile.
If you are going to be outed in this fashion, it’s best to make sure that your profile picture is on point.
At the time of my attempted outing the image I had up was the latest head shot of me taken while I was attending the Rochester New York’s Erotic Arts Vampire Ball, fangs and all. My banner photo was little ‘ole me riding “Big Richard”, a giant coin operated mechanical penis on display at local bar in Minneapolis taken by one of my friends when I was out for an evening of dancing. I was wearing my hair in two big dreadlocked horns and was dressed in a gorgeous black pentagram dress and a pair of fantfuckingtastic knee-high black leather boots over fish net stockings. If she had the audacity to venture into the depths of my profile she would have discovered that the theme of my Facebook feed is sex, Satan, references to penises and photographs of my adorable pit bull/boxer/hound rescue puppy named Larry.
I was lucky. I was outed when I was already out of the Satanic closet. It still left me with a sickening feeling in my stomach, however, just by the vulnerability the act of being displayed against and without knowledge of my will created in me. I decided to use this act of aggression to capitalize on the addiction recovery work that has been at the heart and soul of my magical and spiritual calling. I posted the video of my interview with Chaweon Koo on her podcast “Witches and Wine” and the interview I did with Markus Ironwood on his “Arcane Academy” podcast. Both go into detail on how a person with a Satanic or Left Hand Path paradigm can find empowering and supportive recovery community. After that I shared the Narcan Training I was hosting with Minnesota’s Left Hand Path Community, Magus Books and Herbs and Valhalla Place as well as information on the LHP Addiction Recovery Meetings I started in Minneapolis. I figured anyone trolling my Facebook page would understand that I am a strong Satanic woman who is serious about helping people recover within their own Left Hand Path spiritual paradigm.
If you find yourself a victim of someone trying to out you, don’t panic. It’s not the end of the world, although it may seem like it at the time. If you are concerned that your safety or your family’s wellbeing is at risk by this accusation, absolutely take appropriate measures, but don’t pack all your shit up and vacate the family farm.
Take a look at the situation, realistically. If you are feeling like a Satanic goat in the headlights, call a trusted friend to help you see the situation for what it is. Their perspective may be just what is needed. Their presence and knowledge of you and the situation you are in may be a comfort. Because they are looking at the situation from the outside, they may be able to ground you in the reality of what is going on in a calm and rational way that helps you look at all your options. The problem may not be as overwhelming as it seems.
Then take a moment to assess what it means to you to be truly Satanic and exactly how far in the Satanic Closet you were living. Was this serving your greater good? Was hiding your spiritual beliefs contributing to your highest potential? Had you been out to some and vaguely shrouded to others? Had you been planning to come out eventually, but this forced your hand? Are your fears and concerns warranted? Look at all these questions carefully. Remember to keep breathing and don’t panic. We fear that which we don’t know or understand. See where you stand with all of this and then move accordingly with the grace, strength and dignity of a Satanist.
Take a look at the person who outed you. Nothing excuses the act of taking away someone’s right to their own narrative, but still, take a good hard look at that little piece of shit that decided to do this to you. What role have they played in your life? What was the intent of their action? What is their level of credibility to the people they outed you too? Are the people they directed your outing at going to be able to see the writing on the wall? This is a good opportunity to separate the wheat from the chaff when it comes to people in your life. It’s also a chance to spread a little light of the Black Flame to the dim an uneducated. Some people set themselves up for a ‘schooling, and you know what you are talking about. If you feel it would benefit you, confront the person that disrespected your right to privacy and let them know just how you feel. Respectively, if you are confronted by the people they disclosed your private information to, you can choose to admit or deny based on your own situation. You don’t owe anyone anything. If you aren’t ready to disclose your Satanic identity then tell them that your spiritual path is your own and that their opinion of it doesn’t matter to you. Remember that there is nothing wrong with being a Satanic person. You have not committed a crime, at least in most countries, by identifying with a Satanic paradigm.
And then crush the little shit that created this mess in the most beautiful way you can. By owning it with your head held high so that beautiful crown of knowledge and righteousness doesn’t slip.
5 thoughts on “The Satanic Closet: Being Outed Verses Gracefully Walking Through the Door and Down The Left Hand Path With Pride”
Thank you so much for sharing your posts here and for being such a strong out there woman. I am glad to call you friend and sister of my heart.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. As one of my friends who have encouraged me to step into this realm and share my story and my ideas, I owe you a debt of gratitude.
Also, as a woman who who lives her life completely out of the closet to the point that your life has become helping others find their sure footing on the Path, there are many who share that debt of gratitude with me.
I love you😘
so I can read this later
I have been on the LHP since 1989.
That is one hell of a bad way to treat someone !
Unfortunately it happens all too often.